


Control

by Maygra, Ruby J (rubygirl29)



Series: Wild Night [4]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:09:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maygra/pseuds/Maygra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubygirl29/pseuds/Ruby%20J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wild Night II - Control<br/>By Maygra & Ruby J<br/>(meant to be read in tandem with <i>Reckless</i>)<br/>The art of observation is brought a little closer to home</p><p>Originally posted in April 2002</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control

Wild Night II: Control by Maygra 

Control. Vin Tanner fought for it, with every breath, with every heartbeat. Shadows and light slipped by the windows of the truck in a mesmerizing, repetitive pattern and he forced himself to be still, to be quiet, to not give in to the urge to shift to the left or reach out across the empty space and touch the man next to him. 

Because if he did, he would lose control. Totally, utterly, blow his cool, lose his self-imposed restraint, lose his heart, lose the iron clad will he'd imposed on his body and any vestige of pride he had left. 

And if he didn't, he might very well lose his mind. 

He counted the street lights, all too aware of the heat in the cab, of the low wet hum of the tires on the pavement, of every breath -- shallow and controlled -- that Chris Larabee took. 

It wasn't like Chris had never been to his apartment before, or even slept there when late nights and the too-long drive out of the city, a too-hard couch in his office, looked to be poor trade for the relatively easy comfort of Vin's apartment or couch or bed. 

Chris slowed, making the last turn off Market Street. Vin's apartment building loomed to the left, bordering the dark alley that led to the small off-street lot, boundaried and barricaded by a chain link fence that had given way in places to time and too many kids scaling the links. Too many drunks backing into the support posts so that they were bent and bowed, looking for all the world like skinny servants bowing in greeting or sorrow. But the single lamp post was working still, casting light over the small parking area that was a far better deterrent to thieves and vagrants than the fence had ever been. The fire escape dumped down here as well, although the lower part was rusted and bent courtesy of another driver who didn't know first gear from reverse. 

Chris tucked the Ram as close to the light as he could manage, a canted slot that was nevertheless visible from the windows high on the third floor, backside left. Half the building had cars parked in the front, but it was risk...less light and more chance of losing hubcaps, tires or even what you had tucked under your front seat. Most of the cars there looked like rejects from a last chance used car lot anyway. Including Vin's own jeep, which was still safely ensconced in the underground parking at the Federal building. 

Which meant that Chris would have to stay till morning maybe, or at least not end the night stranding Vin here without a ride. But morning...Vin thought, fighting once more for control as they unbuckled and unlocked, feeling all too aware of the warmth of Chris' body as he leaned over to wrestle with the overly determined seat belt lock on the passenger side. There was a trick to it but it had completely flown from Vin's mind and the fact that the trick existed at all fled as well when Chris leaned in to hold, press and twist the hasp free. 

And grinned at Vin, lips curled and twisted into something not quite a smile or a sneer, but amused by something. 

A little of that control slipped beyond Vin's grasp entirely and he pinned Chris' hand against his hip and caught that not-quite-sneering mouth with his own to wipe the smug grin right off it. 

Chris' hand slid into his hair, tangled and pulled, shifting his weight to pin Vin back. Whatever control Vin had slipped or was burned away in the sudden hot flash of desire, the need to have Chris touch him. He twisted, pulling Chris' hand to his crotch and pushing the ache there into the only thing, the best thing Vin could think of to ease it. 

It was Chris who moaned though, low and guttural, the sound vibrating through Vin as viscerally as the stroke of Chris' hand over his dick. Vin drew a sharp breath and closed his eyes, arching upward, so ready he couldn't think, only want. 

Chris wanted too, apparently, and he pulled back, shifting his hand to grip the top of Vin's thigh, labored breathing making his words soft as a whisper. "Didn’t come to Purgatorio for a hand job in my truck,” he gasped. “And I don’t think this is the place for anything else.” 

Vin’s opened his eyes and swallowed, holding his body rigid as he fought once more to control himself, his body, his thoughts. He could think of a lot of things they could do right here and right now but he had a feeling Chris wanted more comfort and more privacy. He had to laugh though -- the truck was certainly more comfortable and more private than the alley had been. He could do it though. “Then get off and let me the hell outta here, Larabee. Houdini couldn’t git himself outta this fucked up seat belt.” 

Chris snorted, and with an annoyingly easy manipulation, released the belt. “Easy.” He leaned in quickly for a kiss and a teasing lick of Vin’s lower lip. He got out of the Ram, waited for Vin to close his door, and armed the security system. 

They walked quickly, not touching, even when they ducked inside and started up the stairs, walking first but the narrow stairs forced them closer and every brush of bodies made Vin wish he lived on the ground floor. Chris felt it too, or seemed to, because first they paced each other up the three flights, but by the end they were both running; Vin knew he had the same kind of goofy, anticipatory grin on his face that Chris did. 

But they were out of breath and laughing when they hit the top and Vin struggled with the keys, shouldering his door open and then grabbing the front of Chris' sweatshirt to pull him inside, hitting the light as he did so. No darkness. Not this time. He wanted to see Chris: see every change in the green eyes, judge reaction and desire by every lift of his lips or twitch in his jaw. 

The door closed and Vin set the lock, leaning for just a moment, taking a deep breath before turning to set his back to the door. 

Chris stood just a few feet in, still breathing a little harshly but there was a flush to his cheeks and the green eyes sighted on Vin and didn't look away. Not even when Vin's gaze dropped down to rest for a moment on the obvious bulge beneath the black jeans. 

No hesitation at all, just that cock-sure smile, hips canted to one side and his hands on his hips. Long fingered broad palmed hands that Vin knew the strength of...and wanted the pleasure of, had for a very long time. And his mouth...all of him, Vin felt like a starving man suddenly offered everything he wanted...all he could eat but only for one night. 

He couldn't think on anything but now. It would all fall to pieces if he did. Lifting his eyes again, he saw no doubt, but he wasn't sure what he did see, as if somehow their signals weren't as clear as they usually were and he had to wonder if Chris felt the same way. 

His mouth was suddenly dry and he thought about offering Chris a beer, then decided he was stalling. //Don't think. Don't think...// 

He pulled the flannel shirt off, then his damp T-shirt, tossing them aside before he pushed forward. He didn't even think of the bedroom, just that Chris was the best looking man he'd ever seen and that one taste of his cock hadn't been near enough. He reached for the bottom of the sweatshirt and Chris didn't resist, only lifted his arms so Vin could get it off him. 

"No hand jobs, huh?" Vin said, locking gazes with Chris, reaching out to not quite touch him, fingers ghosting across skin, just enough to feel the heat of Chris' body on his hands. "How do you feel about mouths?" he asked and offered his own, lips brushing across Chris' and breathing deeply when Chris exhaled before locking their lips together. 

Then he touched, tried to be methodical and thorough but couldn't quite manage it as he stroked across the pale shoulders and down, touching the nipple he'd only barely tasted earlier and learning its contours by touch. His tongue fought with Chris', seeking out all the hidden spaces and then losing the battle to the tender suction of Chris' mouth. He found himself pulled close and tight against hot bare skin, his own nipples aching and peaking at the brush of flesh against them. Wandering hands found Chris' back and dug deep under the denim, grinding Chris' hips to his own but touch wasn't enough. Not nearly. "Let me suck you off," he said, barely a breath, almost embarrassed to be asking, but Chris' cock was digging into his hip through the denim and Vin already knew how well it fit to his mouth, how Chris tasted. 

It was addictive and he had no way to control the craving now that it was so close. 

Chris' eyes widened just that much either in surprise or anticipation but even before Vin could decide, the answer was there. “Yes,” Chris said. “God, yes.” 

Vin wasn't planning on giving him a chance to change his mind, the breathless quality of Chris' answer sending a pleasant jolt through his dick, along his spine and he swallowed before reaching for the rivet on Chris jeans. The still-damp fabric made the closure tighter and Chris’ erection pressed the seam beneath Vin's fingers. 

"Bedroom," Chris said, husky and not quite as steady and Vin laughed, liking the fact that Chris was off guard, but not entirely off his game. 

"Thought ya'd never ask, cowboy." 

“Never knew you wanted me to,” Chris answered. “Never knew *I* wanted you to.” 

A different shock ran through Vin, hearing both doubt and surprise in Chris' admission. His hand came up to grip Chris' arm, either to reassure or...he wasn't sure what. His fingers closed over the sharp bones of Chris' wrist instead, not tight, and Vin wasn't sure if it were so he could haul Larabee's ass to his bedroom or to bring that hand up to his mouth. 

It ended up being neither. Chris did want him -- to touch, taste, pleasure, all of that and more and this was conscious thought, not the adrenaline rush and erotic danger of the alley. This was in the light, with time and space to think, however inefficiently their brains might actually be working at the moment. 

He let his hand slide upward from Chris' wrist along his arm to slip around his neck. He pulled Chris in toward him, seeking his mouth again with no less hunger but not as much urgency. He took his time, letting breath and tongues meet more cautiously, before he bit softly on Chris' lower lip, encouraging him to let Vin take control of the kiss for just a moment. Chris' arms came up, curved around his shoulders and Vin let his other hand rest on Chris' hip as he coaxed and teased and finally drew Chris' tongue into his mouth and sucked, softly, insistently: rhythm and pace slow and steady. 

Chris' arm tightened but the rest of him relaxed a little, moving his mouth against Vin's, seeking deeper contact, a better angle: the brush of their bodies keeping Vin's arousal high and hard. He pulled back a little and nudged Chris with his hip. Guiding him toward the door but moving his mouth to the edge of Chris' jaw, then his throat, moving the hand at his hip across the hard flat muscles of his belly to rest on the stiff waist-band as they made it sideways through the door. 

For one brief moment, Vin pressed Chris' spine to the door frame, returning to his mouth and using both hands to get the black denim to finally release and give way. Hot skin met his touch, much warmer than the rest of Chris' exposed flesh, soft and damp, and yeah, hard too, when Vin's fingers pushed the fabric back. Chris made a low sound in his throat at his touch and it was all Vin could do not to jerk his jeans down and do him right there. 

But the bed was only a couple of feet away. 

"Keep moving, Chris," Vin teased, meeting the darkened eyes and hooking his fingers into the edges of the denim to tug Chris in the direction he wanted him to go. Three steps and he pushed a little, catching Chris before he could trip backward. 

Then decided that was exactly what he wanted. His own jeans were uncomfortably tight but he crouched anyway, shoving Chris backward until he was lying on his back, legs bent over the bed and Vin pulled at the low boots. It didn't take Chris long to figure out that clothes would be a impediment and he sat up again to help, breath hissing out at the new pressure on his rigid cock. 

"Not without me," Vin warned, toeing his own boots off and unfastening his jeans but that was all. He pushed Chris back again, gripped the denim and the cotton of Chris' briefs and jerked them down. He wasn't worried about getting them all the way off, just getting to what he wanted. 

Before Chris could try to wriggle the rest of the way out of his jeans, Vin pressed down on the flat planes of his hips, pressing him to the bed, and dropped to his knees. 

He didn't need his hands; Chris' cock was thick and flushed, slick at he head with clear precum. Vin had only to moisten his lips and let his tongue be the guide. 

Sweeter than before in that bitter-musk way, the taste dancing across his tongue and the scent of him -- sweat and rain damp skin -- teasing him. His own eagerness took him by surprise, sliding his mouth almost all the way down the heavy shaft at the first try, relaxing his throat and swallowing before sliding up again, tongue laving the taut flesh like touch and taste were the only senses available to him. The flared head of Chris' cock fit his mouth like an overripe plum and he sucked softly, as if he could coax the juice from it that way, then down again. He felt Chris surge against him and held him down, afraid he'd pull away too soon. 

More taste and sharper because Chris was close, bucking upward despite Vin's grip, and he relaxed a little, letting Chris thrust and pump, holding his head still so Chris could fuck his mouth in his own time and rhythm. 

It didn't take long, Vin moving with him just enough to be ready, taking a breath when he felt Chris' legs tremble and his body tense, arching upward. There was salt and silk on his tongue, thick and abundant and Vin swallowed, working his mouth around the warm flesh, tongue and lips working to catch all of Chris' come, barely hearing Chris' cry for the low moan in the back of his own throat. He sucked softly, then harder, eyes flicking up to see Chris' face, the way his hands clenched tightly on the coverlet, chest muscles profiled in taut relief as his orgasm washed through him all along his spine. There was nothing but pleasure on Chris' face: lower lip caught in his teeth as the last spasm raced through him. 

Even when Chris seemed to have surrendered all his spill, Vin licked and sucked until Chris' flesh softened some, and he stroked a little, spreading his fingers through the dark, tightly curled hairs at Chris' crotch. He stretched, easing the tightness in his back he hadn't really noticed, and let his arms slip across Chris' hips and work their way under his back before resting his head on the warm damp skin between hip and groin. He could feel when Chris breathed easier, breathing with him and willing his own body to subside, just a bit. Unwilling to either disturb the moment or ease the ache being able to bring Chris to a moaning climax had caused. 

It took only few moments before Chris' fingers drifted across the top of his head, sweeping the curls back and Vin lifted his head, eyes half-closed. “C’mon up here,” Chris said, softly, wrapping a finger around a strand of hair and tugging gently. 

Tempting and pretty much what Vin wanted but he took a deeper breath and moved, unfolding his body carefully, aching and a little stiff but pretty damned pleased with himself. He let his eyes slide up Chris' body and smiled a little. Chris looked about as satisfied and done in as a big cat on tranquilizers, legs still tangled in his jeans, the flush to his skin fading some. “Got somethin’ t’do first,” he said. 

He pulled back a little and tugged at the denim, kneeling down again to pull the black jeans off Chris' legs. then his socks. He had to take another breath seeing Chris spread out and naked, on his bed, in his apartment...here where Vin had never really expected to see him. Not like this, anyway. 

Certain parts of his body reminded him that he had seen Chris here, like this before...if only in dreams and half-realized fantasies. None of which had prepared him for the reality. He felt dry-mouthed and suddenly unsure -- not so much that Chris would regret or that he would, but Vin was pretty sure that any time somebody wrapped their lips around a man's cock, the results were pretty predictable. That Chris had let him, wanted him...that was something else. 

His fingers tightened on the denim, looking up when Chris shifted to swing his legs onto the bed and stretched out on his side. Vin thought he might come right there, just from the easy way Chris moved, unselfconscious, sleek; compact muscles answered his need and fueled Vin's own. 

He lifted his eyes to see the green gaze regarding him with some amusement, and Vin was pretty sure he looked like a deer caught in headlights. One blond eyebrow headed for cover under the fall of Chris' bangs, full lips quirking up in a grin. “Plenty of room here with me, partner.” 

Vin felt the heat in his cheeks rising, not quite sure he'd ever been this bold; going after what he wanted when somebody's life wasn't at stake was kind of a new one. Same situation, different cause: he'd taken no time to think, had acted on instinct and desire. 

He pushed Chris' jeans aside, hand braced on the bed to raise himself up until he was barely sitting on the edge, near the curve of Chris' hips. He dared to reach out to let his hand follow the long shallow curve of Chris' side from his hip to along his flank. He'd gotten what he wanted: twice now. He didn't quite know how to ask for more. As easily as Chris had come into this, Vin wasn't sure how much of it was experience and how much of it was the fact that Chris Larabee had brass balls and a damn-the-consequences way about him when he was in a mood. 

He braced his arm behind Chris' hip and leaned low, pressing his lips to the curve of hip and then up along the pale golden skin at Chris' waist. He could get lost in this: just the taste and feel, not remembering when was the last time he'd spent time with someone who wasn't just a way to ease a physical need. And that could be what this was, for Chris anyway. Vin didn't know and wasn't sure he wanted to. 

Chris rolled to his back when Vin's mouth reached the outside of his chest...invitation or letting Vin know what he wanted? He didn't think, only pressed his lips to the darker tan of Chris' nipple and tongued it, letting his other hand slide under his own jeans to stroke the too-long-neglected hardness there. 

Chris' fingers closed around his wrist and Vin jerked, pulling back and lifting his head, startled not only by the grip which he hadn't been expecting, but that Chris had stopped him at all. 

"Stop," Chris commanded softly and Vin felt a flash of anger burn along his nerves, for being denied. He met Chris' eyes with a sharp comment on his lips and then lost it under a wave of confusion as Chris' grip eased a bit, his expression not hard at all but easy and gentle: not what Vin expected at all. "Not so fast, partner." Chris moved his hand away, curling around and pressing Vin back, against the mattress, without force, but only the strength of his presence, the heat on his skin like something physical. Thigh to thigh he leaned down, bracing his arms on the bed, thumbs stroking over the outside of Vin's upper arms, before pressing his lips lightly to the corner of Vin's mouth. 

His teeth caught Vin's lower lip as his body pressed closer, tongue pushing into Vin's mouth then out, painting his lips, then searching in again and Vin could only go with it, giving Chris access. Chris all but sucked the air from his lungs, leaving Vin panting and licking his lips when he finally pulled back. Chris put his whole body into his kisses, rubbing against Vin's erection accidentally, or maybe on purpose but so teasingly, Vin ached from it and didn't want it to end. The combination of Chris' skin and the denim still covering his groin so intense Vin felt like he was being fucked through his clothes. It was just a brush of skin: the fine hairs on Chris' lower belly offering a kind of feather-light friction and Vin moaned, wanting to push up, touch himself, but Chris held his arms, however gently. Then his mouth covered Vin's, swallowing even the sounds he was making, and left Vin panting as he moved his mouth along Vin's throat and reached up to push his hair back. 

This was slow torture, Vin's heart hammering in his chest, lungs struggling to get a deeper breath. A hand along his ribs and side made him gasp and arch, groaning until his throat was dry when Chris pulled his jeans down, easing them off his ass and over his cock. It made Vin hiss and clench his fists, afraid another breath, another movement, would send him falling over the edge. 

A few moments and he felt the pressure ease a bit, opening his eyes to see Chris studying him. That green-eyed gaze looked downright dangerous, and Chris didn't flinch or drop his eyes when he caught Vin looking back. A smile appeared on his lips. It was unnerving, and Vin felt a little more pressure ease from some weird kind of fear -- not terrified of Chris or afraid of disappointing him -- not exactly. Almost like he was afraid Chris would say something Vin wasn't sure he wanted to hear. “You got somethin’ more than lookin’ in mind, Larabee?” he goaded. 

In answer Chris moved, stretching out over Vin's lower body, fingers spread wide to grip his thighs and slide upward until they reached his hips. As Vin had done, Chris held him there, eyeing the flushed flag of Vin's erection before lowering his head. Vin closed his eyes, body tensing, forcing himself not to move, not to thrust, biting his lip so he wouldn't beg Chris to take him in his mouth. He could feel the heat of Chris' skin close... so close. He opened his eyes, swallowing again when Chris scented him then looked up, locking gazes with Vin and Vin didn't dare breathe. 

A strangled sound escaped him, almost a whimper when the lips that had devastated his mouth slid over the head of his cock, moist heat driving Vin crazy and he quivered, tried to twist but not thrust. He had to breathe but it wasn't enough, couldn't be when Chris was taking all the strength he had. Teasing him, working slowly downward until every muscle in Vin's body seized. He didn't so much thrust as just press upward, and then the crest broke and he felt himself jerk, twitch, groaning softly as Chris sucked and licked and pulled back finally. Vin's body twitched, not entirely spent but caught halfway between being done and being done in. 

The man was trying to kill him. It was that simple. Vin panted, staring at Chris, trying to make sense of this stop-and-start pattern, not sure he could stand much more, or what Chris was hoping to accomplish save driving Vin out of his mind. 

A glance only to see not the same predatory hunger but a little uncertainty. Chris wasn't teasing him so mercilessly consciously -- he had no idea what to do, which Vin found a little startling, given how well he was doing. 

And Chris was hard again, or getting there; Vin flushed as he realized he was causing it. Chris was doing no more now than resting a hand on his thigh, rubbing lightly, soothingly. “You want this?” he asked. 

//Oh, God....// Vin thought, and was still warmed by the thought that Chris asked, that he wouldn't just use him. He raised himself on his elbow and reached over to the night stand. Jerking the drawer open, he took out a jar of Vaseline. “Use this,” he gasped. It was all he could manage, not caring what Chris did as long as he did it soon. He lay back, his arm over his eyes and knee raised to ease the pressure at his groin, fingers tightening in the sheet again to keep himself from touching. "Please, Chris," he finally said, because he was going to come or pass out. 

“Roll over,” Chris said, his voice harsh, not with the command of his own pleasure but of need, and Vin shifted again. He felt the press of Chris' knees and legs outside his thighs. He expected Chris' hands at his ass and lifted his head when he felt then at his back, wincing a little, when Chris pressed lightly, feeling an ache there. A finger traced along his lower back and Vin shrugged along his spine. 

“Jesus, Vin,” Chris murmured. “Looks like you went ten rounds with a truck. You should’ve told me.” 

The car: he'd hit the car with his back when Garza had tried to run Chris down. He barely remembered it, certainly hadn't felt it until now. Out of sight, out of mind. He chuckled, half-twisting to see Chris, reassure him that it was only bruising. “Cain’t see my own back, Chris.” 

“It must hurt ...” 

“Shut up, Chris. There’s other parts ’a me hurtin’ worse right now. Need some distraction t’ take my mind off it.” He moved his ass, pressing up against Chris’s groin, as much to get Chris to get with the program as to let him know all parts were in working order and trying to sidestep any guilt Chris might feel. “Think you c’n help with that?” 

“Fuck you, Tanner,” Chris chuckled. 

It would be all right. And he winked at Chris. “That’s what I’m hopin’.” 

"Damn tease," Chris growled at him and he got a small swat on his rump and he laughed again, shifting on the bed to grab pillows and stopping when he felt Chris' lips press to his back. His body went limp under those tender touches and then tightened again when they were replaced by the firm but still as gentle rub of Chris' hands along his spine, fingers slick and warm. Chris moved his hands lower, across his ass, easing the sting of the little slap and Vin did pull the pillows down, working one underneath his hips and then another under his head just in time to feel Chris' fingers trace along his crack. 

He hugged the pillow tightly when he felt Chris' finger press inside him. He was tender but not sore, no pain at all, only pleasure as Chris probed deeper, hooked his finger and rubbed, sending a jolt through Vin that made him moan again and press back, arching his spine. 

"Jesus...damn...Chris," Vin hissed out, trying to keep that finger in place but he lost the battle, body tingling and hardening again while he tried to pant through it once more. He felt light-headed and dizzy, then near faint with pleasure as he felt Chris' cock push inside him, opening him wider than the finger had, filling him and overwhelming him. Pressure swelled outward, his cock filling with blood again, his lungs desperately needing air. 

His brain had no control. His body played out the rhythms of lovemaking with no thought at all except to increase and prolong the pleasure that was washing through his veins. Instinct sent his nerves in to overdrive and stole away his ability to be anything more than this reaction, this sensation...pure impulse and need. It was like being set free...unleashed and unfettered from the need to do anything but feel. 

Chris' hand slid beneath him, covered him, tugged on him and he cried out softly, pushing into the firm hand and then back against the hard cock in his ass, caught between the two and moving to get as much of both as he could manage. He tried to curl in on himself as his body surrendered, felt the wet warmth on his belly, but Chris held him tightly: with his hands, with his body, with the whisper of his name on his lips as Chris thrust harder and deeper. He pumped into Vin like he'd never stop and then pressed him down as he gave one last, hard shove, burying himself deeply and shaking as his body surged and emptied itself into Vin once more. 

He barely felt Chris drop heavily onto him, along his back, the pressure welcome and comforting, holding Vin together while he picked up the pieces of himself. The parting was less shocking than the loss of Chris' weight from his back. But that was eased too: Chris rolled to his side and reached out to stroke Vin's hair back off his face and neck. Vin lifted his head that much, to nuzzle Chris' palm, lay a soft kiss there, before rolling to his side as well. Lethargy replaced sensation, comfortably deep aches sapping his strength. He looked at Chris though, needing to reassure himself, reaching out to press his palm to the center of Chris' chest and smiling. "Y’all right, Chris?” 

Chris returned the smile and caught his hand, tugging him a little closer as he rolled to his back and Vin shifted, resting his head on his folded arm, close to Chris' side. “Yeah, I’m all right. You?” 

If he were any more all right he'd be in heaven. “Yeah.” He closed his eyes and moved his arm, sliding his hand across Chris' chest. “Tired,” he said, and he was. Spent. Sated...too tired to think and things got a little fuzzy, a little soft around the edges. //Never thought I could love you more than I did.// He was half asleep and wondering if he could ever say those words aloud and have Chris maybe not turn away. 

He vaguely felt Chris move and wanted to ask him to stay, but even before the words could form, Chris was back beside him and a blanket spread over them, trapping the heat between them. 

“I’m still here, go back to sleep.” 

It was promise enough and Vin followed the quiet command as easily as he would in the field. 

________________________________________ 

When he woke again it was still dark -- or as dark as it ever got in his apartment. The streetlights beyond his window and the security light in the parking lot cast a broken and weak yellow glow over the room through the partially curtain-shrouded window. Most of it hit the walls but there was always a part that slanted across his bed and he found he and Chris half in it. It was a soft light though: enough to illuminate but not really disturb. 

Or Chris must have thought so, since his face was turned to it, even though his body was still half-canted toward Vin's. 

The radiators had kicked in at some point, bringing the room to the temperature of a badly regulated sauna, the air heavy and moist and the windows wavering with condensation. Chris had pushed the quilt down on his side, one leg outside the covers and his upper body bared. Vin's skin was slightly damp and sweaty where his arm still rested on Chris' chest. 

He felt warm enough -- more than usual -- and moved carefully, drawing his arm back so as not to wake Chris. Amazing what kind of heat two bodies and an old quilt could generate. He smiled at that and pushed his hair back off his face, feeling twinges and aches and stiffness he hadn't earlier and should have expected but not regretting a single one. He did, however, have a few twinges he needed to take care of and he moved as easily and silently as he could, slipping out of the bed and the bedroom to the bathroom in the hall. 

He was wide awake by the time he'd finished his business and wiped his face off, not daring to look at himself in the mirror for more than a glimpse. Too awake, he thought a little uneasily, and not really ready to meet his own eyes. 

No regrets. None. But that didn't mean there wouldn't be consequences and he'd rather at least get a handle on them now...all the better to be prepared, no matter what. 

Not that he thought that Chris would hold this against him. Larabee could hold a grudge like a drunk could hold his liquor but he wasn't unreasonable or a man to evade his own responsibility. He'd come to this with his eyes wide open, same as Vin had. Wanted what Vin had, and not held back anything as far as Vin could tell. 

And he'd stayed. It probably had no more significance than being worn out and dog tired from the night...and it had been a wild one. Wilder and more reckless than any night Vin could remember in a long time. 

He gave himself a few long minutes to savor the aches that murmured deep in his body, matching them to their cause. He felt the flush and rise of his blood just at the thought of how Chris had touched him, kissed him, burrowed his way as deeply into Vin's body as he had into Vin's soul from the first time they met. 

That was still there, and Vin had to trust it as he had trusted few things: that no matter what else, he wouldn't lose that part of Chris, that the risk hadn't ever been about that. 

He prayed not. He glanced at the shower, feeling like it would do him some good, but he'd wake up the dead with the way the pipes rattled. He turned the bathroom light off and eased back into the bedroom. 

Beautiful man, he thought, pausing in the doorway, just to look. It felt good to be able to say in his mind what he'd never dare say to Chris' face unless it was really obvious he was teasing. But Chris was beautiful...handsome in a way that had nothing to do with models or the pretty androgynous boys that graced so many magazines and print ads. No ambiguous gender there: not in the well-muscled, lean body that said more about the active life Chris lead than what gym he belonged to. 

It just figured that it would be someone like Chris he'd fall so hard for. Someone who really was out of his reach...save he wasn't entirely. So it seemed and Vin wasn't sure what to make of it. There had been times tonight when he'd thought there was more to it than need or want...not all lust, or maybe he was seeing what he hoped for, rather than what was. 

And that would be okay too. It would have to be. 

Vin climbed back onto the bed and Chris stirred again, then rolled over on his side as Vin settled; Chris reaching for him in his sleep and Vin fit himself against the body he now knew as intimately as his own and let himself relax. Come morning, he'd see how Chris acted, whether he felt awkward. He'd feed him coffee to wake him up and see how it played out. 

Shifting more to his side, all he could see of Chris was in shadow, face near hidden, but he could see the fall of hair across his forehead, the skimming of light across his shoulder and let his fingers just barely trace along the muscle, frowning when he found a mar on the pale skin. He lifted his head, seeing the rough burn across Chris' upper arm, no more than a scrape but the long wide furrow of it giving Vin a clue as to what had caused it. 

His breathing went a little shallow, realizing how close it had been, how much worse it could have been. It wasn't bad. A bandage would cover it. 

"Vin?" 

Vin jerked, not even realizing Chris was awake but knowing why as soon as he heard that soft, still sleep-coarsened voice. He was gripping Chris' arm below the burn. He let go. 

"Sorry...didn't mean to wake ya'," Vin whispered, forcing himself to a calmer tone than he actually felt. "Early yet. Might as well sleep." 

"Something wrong?" Chris was more awake now, drawing his arm under him to prop his head up on his hand. 

"Looks like Ignacio managed to mark ya'," Vin said, rubbing the skin right below the slight wound. "I didn't notice it before." 

Vin didn't have to see Chris' face to know that smile on his face; it carried to his voice. "We were kinda busy, as I recall," Chris said and his hand echoed Vin's, rubbing along his arm in a long, slow stroke, like he was testing the texture of Vin's skin. 

Vin smiled too and ducked his head before he laughed. "Yeah, I'd say we were a little distracted." 

A nudge from Chris and he was on his back and at least now he could see half of Chris' face; see the smile as well as hear it. Chris' hands moved again, slow and deliberate, sending a shudder through Vin and he took a deeper breath, not willing to pass up another opportunity. 

Only the smile on Chris' face wasn't hungry or even particularly lustful. Thoughtful, maybe, and Vin wondered if maybe Chris was already starting on the think-through that had to follow. He tucked an arm under his head and studied Chris right back, ready to listen if Chris had something to say, trying not to let the sinking in his gut signify anything but fatigue. 

Chris was still exploring, touching, but even these touches were different: they didn't seem to mean to arouse or even just to pet. Chris used his whole hand, spreading fingers wide across Vin's chest and then curling his fingers to stroke across Vin's collarbone with his knuckles, up along his jaw -- and never breaking eye contact. 

Vin had plenty of warning before Chris bent to kiss him, a moment's flash of insight to realize that whatever else Chris might be feeling, regret didn't seem to be part of it for him either. The kiss itself was slow, soft, tender: Chris coaxing rather than demanding or even teasing. Without thinking about it Vin found his other hand buried in the thick hair, resting it there, stroking across Chris' skull, giving up thought once more for pure reaction. 

Then Chris lifted his head, studying Vin once more. "Why'd we wait so long for this?" 

Vin was pretty sure his heart stopped. He fought for a breath, knowing the question was neither casual or teasing. Chris was deadly serious. 

Well, maybe not deadly, but he wasn't making a joke. He let the silk of Chris' hair filter through his fingers. "Scared," he said finally, and saw the disbelief in Chris' eyes. "Sometimes you can want something too much." 

"You knew you wanted this?" Chris sounded faintly surprised, although not as much as Vin might have expected. 

Vin tilted his head back, the better to see Chris' face, fingers resuming their stroking along the nape of Chris' neck, feeling a little bolder that no matter what else, he could still talk to Chris, still tell his friend things he'd never say to another soul and trust Chris to judge the man not the words or the deed. "I knew. Never thought I could have it, though. Wasn't like I had any reason t'think it would ever happen." 

"I didn't know," Chris said and cleared his throat, gaze dropping briefly. He'd been caught off guard then and that wasn't a place Chris ever felt very comfortable being. Vin's fingers stretched across the tendons at Chris' neck and shoulder, massaging easily, feeling the muscles there relax a little. 

He smiled and chuckled softly. "Hell, Larabee. If you'd found out before tonight, you'd've have lit out so fast in the opposite direction, you would've left a vapor trail." 

Chris laughed at that and gave him a little nod before stretching his arm out, lying back down on his side and Vin rolled to his side as well, to face him, barely a hand's width between their bodies. Chris' fingers reached out to brush across his lips, almost like he was afraid Vin would say something else, then shifted to his jaw and along his shoulder again. "Guess I'll have t'make up for lost time." His fingers played across Vin's bicep and he adjusted the angle of his chin so Vin’s hair wasn't in his mouth when he spoke. "Think we can start with this weekend?" 

Vin's heart missed a beat, but he met Chris' shadowed gaze steadily. "You sure about this?" 

"Now's a hell of a time to ask me that," Chris yawned. "I reckon I'd better be sure." 

No one could ever accuse Chris Larabee of not being willing to make a decision and Vin thought he might just stop breathing now and get it over with because life couldn't get any better. 

But it could go on and would, he hoped, prayed, for a long while yet and no man should be held to promises when he was half asleep and not thinking straight. "Ya got a couple hours t'sleep on it." 

Chris nodded, agreeing as quickly to that as he had the previous question and Vin closed his eyes. Vin wasn't that sleepy anymore but Chris was and pursuing this, now, would be taking an advantage Vin wasn't willing to press. Not that he'd kick this man out of his bed if this was all he wanted but Vin had gotten so much, so fast...he had to check himself, his wants...even his hopes. He didn't want to live with the disappointment of expecting more from Chris than the man actually had to give. Above all else he wanted, *needed* this man's friendship as he'd needed or wanted few things in his life. And he'd had other lovers that he'd remained friends with...this could be that way too, as long as he didn't push too hard. 

Beside him, Chris was already heavy and relaxed in near sleep, close enough for Vin to feel the slow, shallow breaths fanning warm air across his face and hair. He didn't want Chris to make promises in the dark that the light would dissolve like mist, or be held to something that was no more substantial than those mists. 

"Chris?" 

"Mmm?" 

"Wouldn't blame ya if you saw things different in the light of day." 

He’d thought Chris was mostly asleep, but this close he couldn't miss the return of tension, however minor to the long lean body, or not hear Chris swallow, sharply, like he'd almost choked on something. "I won't," he said. "You might." 

"No, I won't. Ain't nothing about you I'm likely to turn away from, Chris, no matter what," Vin said, too quickly, and he cursed himself for doing exactly what he just swore he wouldn't. Push. It wasn't a lie: he was as sure of this as anything he'd ever known. God, he should just let the man sleep, let him have time to think, sort this out. Vin had had years to think through this, the last few hours’ rationales only echoes of the conversations he'd had with himself since meeting Larabee. If he handled this right, it might actually be more about the physical: About desire and a little human comfort and nothing much but a deep friendship underneath it all. At least he hadn't been foolish enough to actually say anything more damning. //This is good, Chris, and by the way, I've been in love with you for awhile now.// Chris might well make the Flash look like an amateur, he'd be out of here so fast. 

Given time though...God, given time, maybe... And if not, Vin wasn't sure he could face hearing that Chris loved him no more than he did now: as a friend, a partner, a member of a team that was huge part of Chris' life and helped define who he was. Who Vin was, for that matter. 

Chris was watching him, and Vin cursed the indifferent light, afraid he'd somehow managed to damage something he had never meant to. Chris didn't have to be in love with him for Vin to know how much power he had to hurt this man, to know that even without what was now between them, Chris would be worried about the same thing. Their lives had been pretty tangled up in each other's without this to add to it. 

"I won't," he said again, more quietly, reaching out to rub his thumb over Chris' lips. "But we always get to come back to right here, before tonight. Don't worry on it none, Chris. Been a long night...ain't nothing gonna change in the next few hours but both of us getting some sleep and coming at this with clearer heads." 

Chris' hand caught his wrist, thumb sliding across Vin's palm as his hand was drawn down to rest in the center of Chris' chest. The he was being pulled closer, the arm around his waist gentle but steady and strong, closing the distance between them, letting the heat build. Chris didn't move suddenly or try to overpower him...it wasn't a play for dominance or even play for it's own sake. Vin found his heart hammering again, barely breathing and as mesmerized by the glint of light in Chris' eyes as a mouse was by a snake. Only he wasn't watching in fearful anticipation...he just had the feeling they were both about to plummet over a cliff with no easy way back up. 

Chris' fingers stroked through his hair and along the side of his face, Vin almost afraid to move as that gentle investigation continued, closing his eyes against the stroke along his temple, then his jaw. He felt Chris' breath on his lips before he felt the press of those same lips on his eyes, across his cheek bone before their mouths met. He wasn't sure he'd ever been touched like this before, all of it new, so light... 

“We can’t get back to before tonight,” Chris whispered against Vin’s lips. “We gotta go forward, Vin. Might not be able to see where we are going too clearly right now, but I’m willing to go down this path, if you are. You understand?” 

Vin could only nod, both elated and a little anxious about realizing what Chris said was true. They couldn't actually go back ...couldn't undo or pretend it never happened, that this had never happened. “I’m willin’, Chris. Been walking with ya fer a while and I kinda like it.” He smiled a little, trying to ease the tension between them. Not unpleasant tension, but it was there. 

Then it was gone again when Chris kissed him, coaxed his mouth open and pulled him closer until there was no space, only heat. It swelled through Vin's veins, sending blood rushing outward again, into his cock, into his cheeks, making his skin tingle and his belly feel heavy and prickly. Coming to arousal again, so fast, so soon...it was a heady feeling and he moved, rubbing against Chris, finding an easier spot to rub, against Chris's hip. 

Chris was there too: hard and hot, Vin almost groaning at the idea of having this man again. He'd be lucky if he could walk for a week but he couldn't have said no if Chris held a gun to his head. 

“Then that’s the way it’ll be, partner.” 

Force of nature, Larabee was, mouth burning a path along Vin's throat, under his ear, and Vin could only stretch his neck back, shift his leg, letting Chris have whatever he wanted however he wanted it. Fingers teased his nipple and he hissed softly, then groaned and gasped as the sensation just added to the fire along his nerves. A hard, wet kiss: Chris going deep, holding Vin's head and Vin first clutched at him, then touched him, returning the assault, going for the advantage as his fingers closed around Chris' cock and Vin felt his lover shudder and groan into his mouth. 

Soft and hard, wet and hot: Vin's fingers were slicked at the first touch, rubbing the moisture at the tip of Chris' cock all around the head, smelling him, knowing how he would taste. Chris pushed against his hand, moaned again and Vin was able to think, having stripped Chris of his senses. He used his whole body, kissing Chris and pushing him backward. For a moment he just studied Chris, eyes sweeping from his face to the angry flush of his cock, smiling a little at the sight of him. His breath was stolen at the pleasure of having Chris here with him, in his bed, willing -- more than willing -- to make every fantasy Vin had ever entertained alone in the dark come true. He'd made a pretty good dent in the list already. 

Chris wasn't a patient man though, and he was hard. He almost glared at Vin and then raised a knee, reaching for his cock, stroking along the length of it, back arching at the touch of his own hand. 

“Y’ain’t goin’ anywhere without me, Larabee. So don’t even think it.” Vin said, almost a growl, shifting his weight and his tactics as he caught Chris' wrist and pulled his hand, shoving it beside him and the other one as well. He felt resistance and undercut it, pressing Chris back with his full weight and kissing him hard, tongue seeking out the depth of Chris' mouth before the man could take a breath in surprise. He sought out more tastes, more textures: the soft fold of skin at the base of Chris' throat, the rough underside of his jaw, the softer, smoother skin of his left pec and the pebbled softness of his nipple. All of it, each taste or nip surrendered for the next. His tongue teased the hollow of Chris' navel, sucking softly, then the thinner skin at the crest of his hip. His tongue glided over the tight curls at his groin then at the base of his cock before he licked there as well then took the head in his mouth to suck softly. His tongue danced over the small slit, teasing every drop away until all he could taste was salt and skin. 

Chris bucked up against him and Vin smiled, eyeing his prisoner, seeing the near-wild look in Chris' eyes. His own blood was high and he felt risky and reckless, ready to see where this went. No matter what else, Vin intended that Chris Larabee never forget this night. And he wanted him again but he really wouldn't be able to move. Already he was sore, and even this, crouching over Chris was pulling at his back in dull, aching clutches. Damned if he'd let a little discomfort deny him the pleasure of Chris again -- not if he could fix it. And this time he wanted to see Chris' face. 

Still holding Chris' wrists, he lifted his head. “Got an idea ya might like,” he said. He'd have to move quick or he might not live to show Chris all that he could. He released Chris suddenly and slipped off the bed. “Be right back.” 

He chuckled to himself when he heard Chris swear, and moved a little quicker, into the hall and the bath to turn the water on. He winced at the sound the pipes made but the water came out in a gushing torrent and the hot water followed quickly, Vin adjusting the taps in the old-fashioned, oversized, tub/shower combination. He'd scalded himself more than once and he wasn't having a second degree burn interfere with the last few hours of the night. 

Towels were pulled down and Vin cleared out most of the shampoo and soap...leaving the bottle of oil on the ledge, barely getting the plug into the bathtub when he saw movement out of the corner of his eyes. 

He wasn't quite fast enough to escape entirely, Chris' arm trapping him around the waist and across the front of his shoulders. "You're a damned tease, Tanner," he hissed into his ear and then bit sharply. Vin yelped then sucked air as Chris took the injured earlobe into his mouth. His cock pressed heavy and hard against Vin's ass and he leaned back, almost losing what few claims to brains he could make any longer. 

"Just trying to make it good for you...us...," Vin said on a groan as Chris' hand across his chest slid low across his belly. 

"I thought we were doing pretty well...," Chris whispered into his ear, nudging his ass. 

"We're doing real well," Vin said huskily, stopping Chris from stroking him but it was a difficult thing to manage. "Gonna make it better," he promised, twisting his neck so he could see Chris' eyes. "Trust me?" 

He didn't move otherwise, not sure how Chris would take this...more than just the sex, which he already knew was good, the best. But this was more than taking care of the physical, pleasurable as it could be. Too many faces Vin couldn't remember clearly. And it wasn't as if he was likely to forget Chris', but he wanted to see him, watch him as he had tried to earlier. When he tasted him, touched him, see the flush rise on his skin and his eyes darken. Wanted to see him with the lights on, gauge how ready he was...and how far Vin could push him, push them both. Not just a fuck but making love the way Vin wasn't sure he actually ever had before. 

Chris met his gaze for a long moment and then nodded. "Always." 

Vin smiled and gave him a quick kiss, freeing himself to test the water. "Get in," he said turning the taps off. The tub was about half full, water hot but not uncomfortably so. 

Chris did as instructed, stepping into the deep curve of the porcelain and settling down with a soft groan and leaning against the sloped back. Vin stepped in as well, sinking to his knees, straddling Chris' legs, the tub just wide enough to allow them both in this way. He let a groan of his own escape as the hot water seeped into his skin, then his muscles, easing the tight ache in his back. 

He didn't let himself savor it too long though, reaching for the oil and pouring a generous amount in to his hand. On his knees his hips just cleared the water, and he rubbed the oil along his crack and then deeper, locking eyes with Chris as the other man got an idea of what Vin intended. More oil and Vin reached for Chris' cock, half in and half out of the water and slicked him, gently stroking, bringing him back up to the hard edge once more. He wiped his hands off and gripped the side of the tub, smiling at Chris when his lover slid his hands around Vin's waist. 

Shifting forward, Vin bent to kiss Chris again, using one hand to guide himself as he settled, carefully and slowly, taking Chris inside himself once more. Different though: easier, both of them slick, the hot water relaxing them to the point of lethargy. The steam darkened the fringes of Chris' hair and left a sheen on his skin. 

Chris would have thrust, pushed up, but Vin rested a hand on his shoulder. "Shhh....trust me," Vin whispered, easing Chris deeper and tightening the muscles at his anus, using his weight to keep Chris still. He panted softly at the fullness, pressure welling up, like the hot water was causing Chris to swell more, to fill him more fully, the oil allowing every breath, every shift of Vin's weight to let Chris slide inside him and out, in small increments, so that all Vin had to do was flex his thighs a little. The water lapped softly at the sides of the tub, at their skin. 

Vin watched every change of expression on Chris' face, saw the green eyes darken then widen, then nearly close as he was ridden gently, slowly: heat and the small movements intensifying everything. It was almost hypnotizing and Vin swallowed as sensation crested and eased back, over and over and saw the same thing happen to Chris. Watched the flush rise on the pale skin, shifted forward when Chris raised a knee, giving Vin something to brace against and he reached behind him, back arched as he bettered the angle for himself and for Chris and heard Chris grunt then moan. 

Vin finally hit one crest too many, feeling a shudder wrack his body as Chris hit just the right spot, touched him in just the right way and pushed him over. He tried to hold it, calling out Chris' name before he was swept up and under. Strong arms pulled him forward, Chris pressing hard and sharp inside him, a cry on his lips too, that was lost against the skin of Vin's chest. 

The water gave him a little buoyancy, the curve of the tub supporting Chris' back and Vin let himself relax, go boneless, feeling Chris' arms around him. Wrapped in warmth for the long minutes it took for their breathing to slow and their hearts to stop pounding. Vin could hear Chris' heart, knew to the breath when it resumed a regular rhythm with only a flutter of irregularity when their bodies finally parted from relaxation alone. The warmth of the water soothed the aches in his body, minor as they were, and he idly thought he should add more hot water or it would get chilly. 

Had gotten cooler and he shivered when Chris ' wet hand traced his spine, leaving colder droplets of water on his skin. Chris' hand rested there for a moment, body heat replacing the chill but then he moved his hand pushing Vin's hair back to press a kiss to the side of his forehead. 

“Time to get outta here, Vin. You’re shivering.” Chris stroked fingers through his hair, arm warm and heavy across Vin's shoulders. 

He was chilled but only along his back. His chest and belly were warm, pressed against Chris and the water and the sex left him lethargic and tired, sleepy. “Don’t wanna move,” he mumbled. 

Chris kissed him again, the smile on his lips translating itself to Vin's skin. “Tough. C’mon. You had an idea, and now it’s my turn.” 

Pushy damn cowboy, Vin thought affectionately, and lifted his head. “Chris ...” 

His breath caught and the fatigue in his limbs and mind was dispelled for a moment. Chris was smiling at him, something warm in those green eyes, different than anything Vin had seen before. Not just the warmth of friendship, or even the indulgence Chris sometimes showed him, but like he was seeing Vin altogether differently. The thumb that raced along his chin and jaw gave him a shiver of a different sort. “Trust me?” he whispered. 

“Always.” Said without thought or condition, which was a little scary in its own way, save Vin couldn't think of any other way to answer it. There wasn't any other way to answer it. Trusting this man ran as deeply in him as the blood in his veins. 

He needed more assistance from Chris than he thought, recovering from the breathless realization that something had shifted entirely for him, for them. His limbs were heavy and his legs none too steady as he sat back and used the side of the tub to steady himself, giving Chris room to move. God, he was beautiful as he stood, the water sheeting off his skin, muscles relaxed along the length of his slender frame, more pronounced in upper chest and so easy in his body Vin would have been hard with wanting again if he could have managed it. Instead he was just left with the wanting: a different kind of ache that made his heart beat faster. 

Chris stepped out and the water sloshed a little, his movements stirring the air and Vin shivered again, getting to his feet and gripping the edge of the sink to steady himself as he pulled the plug on the tub. 

He found himself wrapped in a bath sheet to block the draft, Chris providing more steadiness than a solid steel wall could have. “Come on before you shake your teeth out.” Chris lingered only long enough to wrap him up securely before he was grabbing another towel and then crouching down to dry Vin's legs as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Heat rose in Vin's face, a little humbled by it all, struck by the odd act of caring. When Chris rose again, Vin was dryer and warmer. He saw the light shiver pass over Chris' shoulders and without a word, opened the end of his towel and pulled Chris inside. The heat between them rose, but Vin only held Chris close in, felt arms around his waist. As in the bath, Vin wasn't ready to move, didn't want to but they were both shaking a little -- not from cold but from fatigue, the warm water finishing what hours of blood-hyping adrenaline and intimate, driven activity had started. Nudging Chris a little, Vin guided them to the bedroom, to the bed. 

The sheets were cool again but they'd warm up quickly and Vin dropped the damp towel on the chair by the door as Chris climbed into the bed. When he turned, Larabee was on his back, one arm supporting his head and the other held out to Vin. Catching Chris' hand and the edge of the blankets Vin slid in beside him, covering them, turning partly on his side to fit himself against Chris and relaxed when Chris' arm came around his shoulders. 

It had been too long since anyone had stayed the night. Vin idly tried to remember the last time he'd actually woken to another face instead of mumbled good-byes and vague promises that ended in the middle of the night. Sometimes it was someone leaving him but more often he'd been the one leaving, dressing in the dark, in a strange bedroom, his body sated but restless, knowing he didn't belong wherever the hell it was. 

Not here though and not now. This felt so right, Vin wondered if he'd ever actually had any idea what it would feel like or if he'd recognize it when it came. And despite Chris' assurances, he was still fighting the unreality of it all. Not fear, though. Chris had managed to ease that. Friends, still, no problems and the rest, the job, they'd work that out, too. 

He found Chris' eyes on him, watching his face, curving his hand to pull Vin's hair back over his ear. “You got something you want to say?” Chris asked. 

Yeah, several somethings, words he'd never said, but it was too soon, too fast and he hoped Chris was getting a clue about some of them: he was a pretty smart man. “No regrets, Chris?” 

Vin's hand rested lightly on Chris' chest and he felt, rather than heard the deeper breath Chris took; the slow exhalation. Green eyes were fixed on him, the glint of them bright like diamonds in the shadowy, filtered light. An honest answer then and that was all Vin really wanted. “Not one. Can’t afford regrets – there isn’t enough money in the world to ransom them. And there’s nothing here to regret, anyway. Not for me.” 

“Ain’t exactly what yer used to, Chris.” 

Chris' laughter reassured Vin as nothing else would have. When had he last heard Chris laugh like that? Confident, amused, teasing: “I’m a fast learner, if you haven’t figured that out yet.” 

Vin smiled. Felt them slip into that easy, teasing place that had always been between them. Familiar ground here, but now there were new topics to play with. “Maybe ya just had a good teacher.” He stroked a knuckle down Chris’ uninjured arm, feeling the hard muscle there, the skin softer than any man's had a right to be. “Still got a few things t’teach ya, if yer willin’.” 

Chris snorted and stretched a bit. “You ever hear of that saying, 'the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak’?” 

Nothing weak about Chris Larabee: not mind or body and certainly not heart. But it tickled Vin, that he'd left Chris exhausted. It didn't matter that he was so tired and worn out he'd be lucky to still be able to carry a thought in his head soon. “You sayin’ yer wore out?” 

“You sayin’ you’re not?” shot back at him and Vin could only grin at him, acknowledging the hit. Muscles and bones were definitely putting out their call for relief, for sleep. And they had time for it. Saturday was already on them but young. He stifled a yawn and blinked, Chris' hand stroking around the round of his shoulder. “Think you can sleep?” Soft and concerned, but not worried. 

He could and should but there was part of him that wanted to put off the inevitable, that wanted to deny that the night would end, that what had started between them might fade. They'd have to start over in a new place and that would be okay too, but this, right now, with Chris' scent lingering in his room, on his skin, the warmth of his body and the warmer blanket of his affection -- he didn't want to miss this or let it go. “I reckon I can try. Don’t feel much like it. I mean I’m tired, but if I sleep, the night’ll be over.” 

Chris held him a little tighter, Vin's body fitting to him as if there'd been a pattern laid out there just for him. “It’ll be over even if you stay up through to sunrise. But the sun coming up is a beginning, not an end.” 

Chris rolled a little and Vin shifted his arms, hand sliding over the smooth skin at Chris' waist and hip. His mouth opened to Chris' breath, felt the warmth and strength of Chris' kiss, a little hungry but mostly sweet. “Like I said, I’m willing to walk this path with you, if that’s what you want.” 

Want. Vin had been controlling this want so long it was hard to let it go, to actually believe it had changed so quickly from what he wanted to what he had. He could only nod, throat tight and he reached out to touch, to let his palm ride over Chris' chest. The light in the room was shifting a bit, becoming softer and Vin closed his eyes against it. Chris' arm held him still but relaxed, breathing even and sweet on Vin's skin. 

He'd been worried, scared even that he was being too reckless, risking too much. He should have known better, trusted Chris, himself. There was no good way to control a heart and a man was a fool to try. Settling deeper into both the embrace of his lover and the arms of sleep, Vin took his own advice and let go. He'd never been safer and Chris Larabee didn't suffer fools gladly -- but he'd made room in his heart for one. Vin would make sure he'd never regret it. 

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> Maygra : Author's Note: It's all Ruby's fault. And the letters J, K, ZR, AuK and the frog. Entirely too much fun to be had by only one person so I made Ruby play.


End file.
